Be the One Who Loves More

There is always a lot going on between two people in a relationship. But very often, much of what goes wrong in a relationship has to do with what's going on in our own minds. Most of us have a constant dialogue running in our heads, analyzing our relationship and informing us on how to behave. Instead of simply acting based on how we feel, we are advised by our "critical inner voice": "Don't be a fool." "Don't let her know how much you like her." "Don't tell him what you're really thinking." Although these thoughts may seem self-protective, they're actually self-sabotaging.

As we get close to someone, we must not listen to the critical inner voice that warns us not to "be a sucker" or "love too much." This doesn't mean choosing someone who doesn't love us at all or staying with someone who mistreats us. Rather, the goal is to develop into a giving person, a loving person. It's a worthy pursuit to learn to do extra things and go the extra mile to show love. Here are four tips on how to be more loving in your relationship:

1) Communicate what you feel. People often make a big deal of who says "I love you" first. Many people feel shy or foolish to be the first to admit their feelings. It's scary to take the plunge and tell someone how you feel, but it is also the only way for your relationship to survive. Avoid playing games or over-analyzing your partner's communication. Instead, think about how they make you feel and let them know how you feel toward them. There is always a chance you will get hurt or rejected when you put yourself out there, but it is still worth it for your own sake to take risks and let people know you for who you are.

2) Avoid the "tit for tat" mentality. Couples often get into trouble when they start quantifying what they do for each other. If you find yourself thinking or saying "I will only do this if you do that," you may be forming an unhealthy habit. Pretty soon, you might find yourself thinking, "Why should I clean the bedroom? He never lifts a finger!" or "Why should I be the one to go toward her and be affectionate? She always acts too busy for me anyway." Instead of thinking about what you'll get in return, try to be selfless in your giving. In other words, commit to acts of kindness with no strings attached. When you do this, it doesn't just make your partner feel loved; it makes you feel good.

3) Be sure to support and participate in the things that excite and interest your partner, which lights your partner up. If he or she loves to hike, take time to experience this passion alongside your partner. Encourage them to pursue their interests and the things that give their lives joy and meaning. You can expand your own world by being open to another person's. This doesn't mean sacrificing your own interests or giving up what makes you happy. It just means staying open to trying new things, so that your world is always expanding instead of getting smaller, which is a risk in many relationships.

4) Take actions your partner would perceive as loving. We might do things for our partner that suit us then feel hurt when our partner doesn't react the way we want them to. Maybe taking them out or buying them presents is something you consider worthwhile, but is it something that your partner values? Perhaps he or she would rather just spend a night at home, curled up next to you and watching a movie? Even a simple act, like picking up something they need at the drugstore or offering to make dinner, can be true expressions of love to the people close to us. When we consider what matters to them and respond accordingly, we show love and consideration that goes beyond ourselves.

Being loving is the best thing we can do for our own well-being, because it allows us to feel genuinely good about ourselves. It is a skill that benefits us in all of our relationships, with our friends and our children as well as our romantic partners. Plus, when we expand our own ability to love, we actually grow our capacity to be loved. It opens us up to new possibilities, while allowing us to feel a consistent sense of honesty and integrity within ourselves.

It is going to be tough because there is always one person in a relationship who loves more, cries more, get hurt most and even forgives more but do still:

“BE THE LION IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND ALWAYS LOVE MORE.” Y

How Your Problems Can Make You Profits

Most of the time when we use to think of word problems! We associated headaches, variations of stress, and worry with that word. But that would be a much closed minded way to look at it. The truth is that problems have always improved the quality of our lives, whether it’s saving time, money or resources.

When you think outside the box, what you will find is that the problems that have existed in society since the beginning of time all have one major thing in common and that is that all these problems have solutions which can be sold at a profit. If there were no problems in the world, no one would ever become successful. The most successful people in the world became successful because of the problems they solved for society.

Problems Make People Successful

Think about this, a long time ago, before the light bulb was invented, Thomas Edison had found a problem. That problem was that you needed many different things to light up your house that were either inconvenient, expensive or just a waste of time and energy. Candles were pretty expensive and they would usually be left unattended. Setting up a fire would burn things and it caused many injuries, not to mention it was extremely inconvenient.

Edison understood that this problem clearly needed a solution as there were many disadvantages. He went to work and surely he found and created what was very much needed in society as the famous light bulb. Today, all we have is a bunch of light bulbs stuck in the ceilings that turn on with a flick of a switch. After solving this problem, he benefited with the profits. 

The focal point here is that if Thomas Edison did not see it as a problem that existed in society, the light bulb would probably not have been invented and he would never have been known to this day. Thomas Edison once quoted that he “will make electricity so cheap that only the rich will burn candles”. His success was a result of his solution orientated mindset.

In Every Problem, There Is Money to Be Made

So, basically anything that ever gets invented or becomes profitable, first exists as a problem, instead of pondering on how bad the problem is, why not find the solution and sell that solution to others so they can use it in their own lives. When you find a problem, the solution is usually something valuable that can serve others. So, in every problem there is not only a solution that will usually save time and resources, but there will also be a source of income or money to gain.

In order to see profits you first need to put the problem in a different light, which can be easier to when you put your attention on serving others. When you do this, it gives you a bigger purpose to find the solution, and once that solution is found, it means there’s money to be made.

Small or Big, Solutions Are a Success

Sometimes these problems can be so small and easy to solve such as a little improvement on a product. Have you ever noticed yourself coming up with a creative adjustment to a product, and then shortly after someone else created it? Well, it happens all the time, and usually we think the solution has to be so much more difficult, the truth is; it’s NOT! It only seems difficult in our heads. For example, Steve Jobs, the man who created the Apple Computers, realized that the Walkman was inconvenient, and you could only play a limited amount of songs on each cassette or CD. He created a solution, which really wasn't all that big, but it was the right adjustment that consumers needed. He made people’s lives easier with the more convenient and innovative iPod.

The Famous Formula

Many do not know it, but problems and opportunities are the same thing. Inside every problem, there is a seed to success. There is a formula that will help you look at problems differently, and will help you to create profits from your problems. This formula goes as follows:

When you find the solution to any problem, whether it’d be that you were overweight, and became fit, or you were depressed but somehow found a solution and became exhilarated with life, it is your divine right to share the information / product / service that you used to help yourself so that you can now help others and by this you will be serving the world. The more passionate you are about finding the answer to your problem, the bigger the return on investment will be.

So, from now on, when you see a problem in your life, be grateful for it, as a matter of fact get optimistic! Don’t get discouraged, instead look at it as an opportunity to solve and overcome an obstacle, and see it as something that can actually make you money.

Take the time to think about it in a different perspective by allowing you to understand that the solution is most likely something that others are and are willing to pay a profit for. And remember; get excited for finding problems, because problems are like diamonds waiting to be discovered. You never know, a problem that you find in your life, could be your key to financial freedom.

You Really Don't Need to Compare Yourself with Others!



Do you know people who are always comparing themselves with those around them? I know I do. In fact I used to do this in the past but now I don’t really do it as often as I used to and I know eventually I won’t do it at all, because I came to an understanding that we are all different and that true nobility consists not in being better than anybody else out there but in being better than you used to be.  With every passing year, I am getting better and better at it and I can tell you that this is really empowering. “When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” Lao Tzu

If you compare yourself with those around you who are not as good as you, you will feel better but there are also people out there who are doing better than yourself, and if you focus on that you will feel really frustrated, sad and depressed. You are you & in this world no one is exactly like you, you are unique and you have gifts that were given to you when you came into this world and you have to identify what those gifts are, and work toward improving yourself and sharing your talents and gifts with the world. Giving is receiving and if you ever made something nice for somebody without expecting anything in return you will understand what I’m talking about. Learn to give not to get.

We should get over with this need of always trying to get better than those around, giving up of always comparing and always competing with the world around us, trying to be number one, wanting to have a bigger house than your peers , a more beautiful partner, a more expensive car and so on. I look around and what I see is people who are living for everybody else expect them. You see, if you grow up looking for ways to always please others and always doing what others think is best for yourself, you lose touch with the person you really are and eventually you lose yourself, you lose your identity.

I had to listen to somebody recently complaining about her life, telling me how depressed she is and how she sees herself as being worthless, a failure. Of course she isn’t, she’s not a failure, she is young, she is beautiful, intelligent and is a very creative soul but if she is constantly comparing herself with everyone around her, she can no longer see the beauty that there is her. The problem with many of us is that we don’t have the courage to listen to that inner voice that tells us it is time for a change, we don’t listen to our intuition and we keep on doing the same mistakes over and over again. You see, I really believe that intuition is nothing else than God, the Universe, or whatever name you want to give to that higher power that created us and the world we live in, is talking to us.

Prayer is us talking to God, to the Universe while intuition is that invisible and higher power answering to us, and if we ignore our intuition, of course we will feel frustrated and lost because we are not living how we were supposed to. When we do that we are saying that our plan works and God’s plan doesn’t. It is never too late to make the shift in your life and you need to be courageous and brave and decide that you deserve to be happy and make the necessary changes.

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” Earl Nightingale

We do learn from mistakes, that is true but we don’t have to make all the mistakes ourselves. If we are wise enough, we can learn more from other people’s mistakes. I hope you will find the courage to go after your dreams, get out of your comfort zone and do it. Step by step, one day at a time. Make each day a beautiful and peaceful day and that will lead to a beautiful and peaceful life. You don’t have to do it all at once, that’s impossible, but you have to decide that it’s time for a change and commit yourself to your goals. Be patient and keep your dream at heart.

“Picture yourself in your mind's eye as having already achieved this goal. See yourself doing things that you'll be doing when you've reached your goal.” Earl Nightingale